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  • Do You Want Fries With That?

    Why do so many of us have a problem asking for what we want? Why do you think that is? The bible says it’s OK.  It clearly states, ‘Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and the door shall be opened.’

    As a child, how many times were you told not to ask for anything at someone else’s place?  Sadly, I remember telling that to my own children.  We should wait until we are asked, even if we are hungry or thirsty.  How stupid is that? 

    Why do our parents admonish us when we ask for something when we are at shopping centres?  How many times have you heard parents loudly exclaim in public places, “Stop asking for things.  Stop it.  You haven’t stopped asking for something since we left home. First it was a drink, then the toy, then the colouring pencils, now you’re hungry.  Do you ever stop?”

    When a child hears this often enough, what conclusion do you think they draw?  They decide that it is wrong to ask for things.  They perceive that asking is bothering and that adults get upset.  Children decide their needs are not important and they often take this belief into adulthood. But the most damaging of all is they can conclude that they are not important or valuable and that it is selfish to ask for anything, particularly outside of the immediate family.

    In my own family, asking was something we had to do often.  We were not allowed to open the fridge, use the lights in our own bedrooms, turn on the television, leave the house or go anywhere without asking for permission.  Of course, mine was not a normal childhood, but even in normal families, most of us grow up with a strong sanction on asking. 

    If we order only a burger at McDonalds, the assistant will ask us, ‘Do you want fries with that?’  Why do they do that?  Because asking for the sale is guaranteed to increase sales.  If you don’t ask for the sale, then it is unlikely to happen.

    It is a basic human instinct to put things off until tomorrow.  One of the biggest problems people have is making decisions, and because of that, many things that could be accomplished never are.  Another basic human instinct is that people FEAR making the wrong decision and because of this FEAR, people often put off making any decision.

    If we don’t ask for the sale, then it is unlikely to happen.  And by the sale, I am not only talking about selling products or services.  I’m talking about asking for what you want. 

    How do you feel about asking for help?  About asking for advice?  About asking for a loan?  About asking your partner for more quality time?  How do you feel about asking someone to treat you differently?  What about asking your friends not to bring the children to your place if they can’t behave better?  What about asking your neighbours (politely) to turn the music down?  Can you ask someone for the fourth time to explain something to you again?

    In each of the above examples, a different feeling can be triggered.  Asking for help, advice or money might make you feel incompetent or powerless, while asking for something that would satisfy your own needs or wants might trigger the feeling of unworthiness or make you feel selfish. 

    Regardless of which feeling is triggered, the underlying cause is always the same.  Having a problem asking for something is always a self esteem issue.  Feeling incompetent is a self esteem issue.  If someone feels incompetent, then they perceive themselves as ‘less than.’  If we judge ourselves to be selfish, greedy or powerless, then the same applies. 

    A person with high self esteem can ask for what they want and it does not matter whether or not they receive and it certainly does not impact upon their sense of self.  If they don’t get what they want, they might ask someone else. Or find another way to satisfy the need.  They don’t take the ‘No’ personally.  Feelings of unworthiness are not triggered because self esteem is high.

    Are you having problems asking for anything?  Do you ask for the business?  Do you ask to have your needs met in your intimate relationships?  Are you able to comfortably ask for what you need at work?  Can you ask your family and friends for help?  If you are unable to ask with ease, then look to your beliefs about around worthiness.

     It might be time to ask a professional for help.  The ability to ask is a very easy issue to resolve with the right tools.  One session with an energy therapist would be sufficient for the average person.  All that needs to happen is that the negative charge on some past memories be discharged and a new positive belief installed.  Too easy. 

    So, now I am taking my own advice and asking you for the sale.  If asking for what you want makes you feel sick at the thought of it, email me today ( and schedule an appointment. If you are ready to become EXCELLERATED and you sick of not getting what you want in life, then you know what to do.  All results are guaranteed.  NO RESULT, NO PAY.

     Madonna Robinson is a Personal Development Consultant, a Level 3 EFT Practitioner, trained in Matrix Reimprinting, a certified Life Coach, an NLP Master, holds certificate IV in Small Business Management, Workplace Training and Assessment and TESOL.

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